News Ticker

The news segment in Episode 3 came together pretty last minute. As written, the news piece would be heard, not seen, but that’s obviously not so exciting, so we decided to shoot something. Luckily we were able to get the hilarious Stephanie Allynne to play Angelica Fritzman, our news reporter.
A fun aspect of the news report was that it allowed us to write some extra jokes to work in as a scrolling news feed at the bottom. I didn’t expect many people to actually read the news feed, but a lot of people have emailed us about it. Because we cut away from the news, you can’t actually read everything in there, so listed below are the jokes I wrote for that part:
- Billy Crystal drops out of Oscar hosting duties. He will be replaced by Eddie Murphy, who will be in makeup that makes him look like Billy Crystal.
- Anti-depressant prescriptions on the rise to coincide with holiday season and release of Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill.”
- Charlie Sheen still eager to make “Major League 3.” Questions loom as to whether or not he knows the first and third base lines are just chalk.
- Andy Dick is annoying.
- “Desperate Housewives” is still on TV? That’s surprising.
- Dennis Haskins reportedly involved in karaoke-bar brawl after patron sings Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog.” Haskins allegedly left yelling, “That’s my song, dammit!”
- “Twilight” star Taylor Lautner invol… ahh, who cares.
- Today the stock market did some stuff. That’s both the NYSE and NASDAQ.
- Just a reminder: There was a time when Whoopi Goldberg was a huge movie star.

This tweet from Kato is my favorite part of Episode 3. When we showed up to shoot the news scene, David came with this idea. It’s great.